What I'll Miss Tonight

As the date suggests, it is New Year's Eve. I guess you could say I'm one of those losers that is sitting at home with his wife while my kids sleep in their beds. I suppose I'm really missing out on what the world has to offer.

I could be out drinking until I'm so drunk that I risk lives while driving home.

I could be waking up in the morning with someone that I don't even remember meeting.

I could be putting my marriage and family at risk.

I could be spending tomorrow morning with a splitting headache and my head in the toilet.

Or, I could just continue my course. I will enjoy knowing that my children are both safely asleep in in their rooms. I will look over at my wife knowing that there will be nothing done tonight to embarrass either one of us. I will happily wake up in the morning still getting over my cold yes, but headache free and sober.

Personally, I will gladly wear the title loser.

Happy New Year

Trust His Leading

I'm suppose to be in Kenya right now. That's where almost my entire team is right now. A year later and I still call them my team. Okay, maybe I should change my first statement. I really wanted to be in Kenya right now, yet looking at the trip months ago it just wasn't feasible. Even when my friend informed me that they had a plane ticket that I could possibly use I still knew it wasn't for me this year.

It's only a few days since they left and it's hard on me. I've seen the pictures they're posting online and I feel that longing in my heart to be there. Out of their kindness, my team even video called me the other day so I could look at each one of them as they told me that they had seen lions, something we never saw last year. I even got a Facebook message from one of the pastors at the church in Eldoret saying that he missed me being there.

It rips at my soul and brings questions. Why didn't I go? Why didn't I feel that okay from my Father to journey halfway around the world again? I've wrestled with this in my mind.

Without being able to explain in depth, I think I discovered the reason why. If you're looking for profundity you might as well stop reading here because the answer I've discovered is painfully simple. I feel that God prevented from going to Kenya because I was needed here. There's been a couple of seemingly small things that have happened over the past few days that would have never have happened if I was out of the country. Things that only happened because I was here. Small things, yet as I view them I realize that they might have consequences that stretch into eternity.

Does God love the youth of Kenya that I had an opportunity to minister too? Absolutely and without a doubt. At the same time, God also cares about the hurting teens right here at home. God had others geared up to cross the world and minister there, but he already had me right where I needed to be to minister here.

The issue boils down to one of trust. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to be in control? Do I trust Him enough that when he says "no" to an amazing opportunity that I can rest assured that He has good reasons for it? Do I trust that God actually knows better? Finally, when all is said and done, am I willing to allow my plans and desires to be prevented by God on behalf of His greater plan?

May we all continue to learn to trust His leading for it always leads us exactly where we need to be.